I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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