The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
