I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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