so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
