its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My bed smells like the plague
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
