I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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