Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Come see our sink grown plant.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
