We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
