I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
