doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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