I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
