Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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