Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
