Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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