of course. lets lasso hookers.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
