Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
