first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize