1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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