Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
