weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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