he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
