She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
