My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
