Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
