got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize