i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
