I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
