he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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