"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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