i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i barfeds in our rink
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
