and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
