Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
