My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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