i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
