guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
