best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it glows. i had to have it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am one with the molecules
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
