How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
