just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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