Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
