I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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