Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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