I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
