It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
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the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
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I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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