Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
