my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
