the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
