Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
okay pat passed out under dana's car
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize