what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
