Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
