I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
