their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
