I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
zippers are such a cool invention
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
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I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
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I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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