you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
