His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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