Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
