Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it's like iHOP with fire
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
