Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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  (617): M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad. http://tfl.nu/r9d8
  Replies (4) Good night (2845) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!

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  (248): Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something! http://tfl.nu/qltt
  Replies (14) Good night (657) Bad night (1643) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"

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  (323): If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina" http://tfl.nu/xi2d
  Replies (19) Good night (2669) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.

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  (781): Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart. http://tfl.nu/ct0g
  Replies (5) Good night (657) Bad night (3532) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

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  (248): thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer. http://tfl.nu/nnju
  Replies (59) Good night (1149) Bad night (6324) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land

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  (978): a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land http://tfl.nu/vapb
  Replies (35) Good night (1385) Bad night (5761) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall

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  (719): we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall http://tfl.nu/c3tv
  Replies (11) Good night (3737) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.

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  (804): Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures. http://tfl.nu/ds3n
  Replies (3) Good night (3213) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.

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  (443): There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you. http://tfl.nu/nqul
  Replies (15) Good night (3334) Bad night (1359) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.

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  (603): He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car. http://tfl.nu/1mzx
  Replies (50) Good night (7764) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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  (717): can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck http://tfl.nu/v7jv
  Replies (4) Good night (1457) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.

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  (517): Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet. http://tfl.nu/zmql
  Replies (15) Good night (1431) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.

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  (954): threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/r0t4
  Replies (5) Good night (791) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.

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  (541): Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad. http://tfl.nu/nlxo
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (1109) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete

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  (516): New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete http://tfl.nu/uf35
  Replies (4) Good night (950) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt

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