can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
