I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina