Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I just tipped a bartender in xanax.

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  (805): I just tipped a bartender in xanax. http://tfl.nu/pn9d
  Replies (16) Good night (3223) Bad night (515)
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  (315): View more from New York

  playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps

  (315): View more from New York

  warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey

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  (315): playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps (315): warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey http://tfl.nu/dgn3
  Replies (86) Good night (3908) Bad night (536)
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  (925): View more from California

  i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them

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  (925): i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them http://tfl.nu/sgsu
  Replies (10) Good night (745) Bad night (2942)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.

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  (401): I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on. http://tfl.nu/shul
  Replies (22) Good night (4476) Bad night (1094)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.

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  (229): Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment. http://tfl.nu/tuh7
  Replies (39) Good night (11889) Bad night (769)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin

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  (630): It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin http://tfl.nu/b3ck
  Replies (18) Good night (4189) Bad night (561)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

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  (954): my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch http://tfl.nu/nq1q
  Replies (12) Good night (3062) Bad night (1039)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

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  (856): there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread. http://tfl.nu/6f5w
  Replies (28) Good night (4181) Bad night (1361)
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  (518): View more from New York

  so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?

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  (518): so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for? http://tfl.nu/nqhg
  Replies (9) Good night (2754) Bad night (1169)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.

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  (412): He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to. (412): Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali. http://tfl.nu/ulfo
  Replies (9) Good night (2205) Bad night (676)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.

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  (779): I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/p354
  Replies (13) Good night (1913) Bad night (1417)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant

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  (407): It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant http://tfl.nu/td2c
  Replies (9) Good night (359) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.

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  (801): You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age. http://tfl.nu/6o7l
  Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (230)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.

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  (520): Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds. http://tfl.nu/3cpt
  Replies (6) Good night (1205) Bad night (309)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.

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  (843): I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow. http://tfl.nu/m6rb
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (218)

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