Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.

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(336): Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see. http://tfl.nu/n17o

Replies (13) Good night (951) Bad night (2648)
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(765): View more from Indiana

yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.

(1-765): View more from Indiana

yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.

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(765): yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker. (1-765): yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married. http://tfl.nu/4wae

Replies (21) Good night (857) Bad night (2646)
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(361): View more from Texas

At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

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(361): At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now? http://tfl.nu/lbi5

Replies (21) Good night (4626) Bad night (821)
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(512): View more from Texas

Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?

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(512): Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You? http://tfl.nu/i2et

Replies (26) Good night (7545) Bad night (1475)
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(408): View more from California

I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom

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(408): I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/1a6p

Replies (7) Good night (992) Bad night (2985)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"

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(215): OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package" http://tfl.nu/jnsz

Replies (13) Good night (2019) Bad night (4464)
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(313): View more from Michigan

My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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(313): My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar http://tfl.nu/fy9n

Replies (6) Good night (3327) Bad night (812)
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(+33): View more from France

I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."

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(+33): I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes." http://tfl.nu/b971

Replies (4) Good night (1933) Bad night (850)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.

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(617): I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final. http://tfl.nu/105u

Replies (0) Good night (769) Bad night (390)
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(916): View more from California

I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.

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(916): I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/dadk

Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (357)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.

(1-952): View more from Minnesota

The tryst?

(952): View more from Minnesota

The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.

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(952): I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst. (1-952): The tryst? (952): The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity. http://tfl.nu/9sse

Replies (2) Good night (1047) Bad night (368)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.

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(301): Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father. http://tfl.nu/2hng

Replies (3) Good night (858) Bad night (244)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.

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(703): Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it. http://tfl.nu/w272

Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (253)
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(561): View more from Florida

If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes

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(561): If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes http://tfl.nu/y5re

Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (227)
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(303): View more from Colorado

He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him

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(303): He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him http://tfl.nu/0402

Replies (2) Good night (544) Bad night (159)

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