You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am