Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
