now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
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It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.