i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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