addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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