it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
